Why You Should Not Think That ‘You Are Always Right’

One of the most useful life lessons that I’ve learned from my wise uncle was: ‘No matter how intelligent you are, you are not always right.’ Whether you are talking to your spouse or children, requesting food from a waiter in a restaurant, or having a meeting at work, this timeless wisdom will guide you to creating meaningful encounters with others.

Standing for what we think is right is not a bad thing. I have been in situations where things got better because I followed what I thought was right. However, it’s another thing when it becomes offensive and destructive to other people. It is when the ‘you are always right’ mindset becomes a projection of the ego and not an ally to a joyful life.

In 2014 I experienced this destructive behavior with a toxic boss. She would constantly nag at me every time I executed a job quite different from how she wanted it done, even if I delivered a quality output. She would insist that her ways were right and mine was wrong.

Her consistent hurtful words, that I was always wrong and made mistakes, killed my confidence and self-worth. I dreaded going to work that I used to enjoy and felt like I wasn’t learning and growing in my career because of her. So I left my job, made a fresh start, and promised myself that I would never do to others what she did to me.

Don’t let this happen to others as well by avoiding such self-righteous behavior. Here are five reasons why you should not think that you are always right.

1. You Need To Nurture Your Soul, Not Your Ego

Our life is not only about becoming rich and successful. We also need to be a person of love, kindness, empathy, and compassion. Aside from material things, we should also aim for inner wealth and to find beauty and contentment in every situation.

Thinking that you are always right feeds your ego, not your soul. The more you give more importance to your ego, the more you disconnect from your life purpose.

Our ego finds pleasure in proving that we are right and better than others. Instead of feeding the ego, try to reflect on your purpose, the things that matter like building healthy relationships, seeing the good in everything, and serving others.

Dig deeper within yourself and expand your awareness by being mindful of what plays in your head and reflecting on whether it is serving your ego or your soul. 

Whenever I get tempted to win over someone, I pause and remind myself that ‘I am not better than anyone no matter how good I think I am.’ It is a powerful affirmation that works for me every time my ego wants to take over the situation.

2. Nobody Is Perfect And There Is Always Someone Better Than You

Thinking that you are always right is a mask or defense mechanism to hide feelings of shame and worthlessness and not about how strong or intellectual you are.

A few years ago, I met a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive. He doesn’t listen to anyone because, to him, the only person who is more knowledgeable and better than him is God. He would shut others off when contradicted and never let anyone win over a discussion. The way he talked and projected himself was as if he were a high-profile man.

Later on, I learned that this man does not even know how to communicate in English or do simple math without a calculator. He did not even finish primary school and only played this know-it-all character to cover up his shame for not fulfilling his dreams.

There will always be people who are smarter and better than us. Your weakness can be someone else’s strength and vice versa. Do not let your pride take over and think that you are always right. Life will be much lighter if you humble yourself and let go of entitlement just because you know better. Anyone has weaknesses and can commit mistakes, including yourself, no matter how good you think you are.

3.  You Might Become The Toxic Person In The Relationship

It is stressful to be with a self-righteous person. Each time we press on our points to others, we violate their right to speak and be heard. This creates a negative space for others, gets them suffocated by our pride and narcissism, and might pull themselves away in the long run.

In the early stage of our marriage, my husband and I struggled to put down our pride. I am an independent woman and always speak of my thoughts and emotions. I believed that even if I am a woman, I should also have a voice in the relationship. Oppositely, my husband used to believe that he was the leader and that I should always submit to him. Our shallow understanding of our roles led us to a temporary toxic relationship.

Thankfully, it was just a phase and we eventually learned to sincerely listen and give way for each other.

Listening and making efforts to understand others shows your willingness to build good relationships with them. Unhealthy and toxic conversations can be avoided if both sides are open to correction and improvements.

4. Your Intelligence Is Not A Ticket To Being Always Right

A true intelligent and wise person is a humble person.

When I finished primary school with awards, my uncle told me, ‘Be teachable. No matter how good and intelligent you are, you are not always right.’ He also shared that what made him successful was not his exceptional abilities but because he listened and learned from people who had more experience than him.

I always get inspired by intelligent people who properly use what they know and do not abuse it in any way. Because a wise person knows he is not better than anyone.

Our intelligence should be used to discover new ways and tools that will make our lives easier and more efficient and not as a pedestal to look down on people.

When your mind whispers that you are more intelligent and capable than others, pause and remember that your true worth does not depend on how smart and excellent you are. It is in humility that we can achieve true joy, peace, and success.

5. You May Become Judgmental And Hurt The People You Love

Even if you think your thoughts and ideas are great, it doesn’t mean that you will make the situation better. Instead, you might hurt the people you love because you may judge them based on your biases.

Before I got married, my mother insisted that we should invite all our relatives because, for her, that’s the right way to celebrate a wedding. When my husband and I told her that we wanted an intimate wedding ceremony, she did not approve of it and told me that it was a disgrace to our family. I was hurt that she’d rather do what she believed was right instead of seeing me happy.

When we insist on what we think is right without trying to understand what others have to say, we might hurt their feelings. Nobody wants to be neglected, unheard, and not valued. We should respect their preferences and give it a try as long as it will not bring harm to the situation.

If You Think You Are Always Right, Think Again

I have seen and heard many stories about how people and dreams got broken because a self-righteous person made them feel stupid and unworthy. I hope that we end this cycle by humbling ourselves and giving others their time to shine.

Standing for what we think is right is not always the way. We have to listen to what others would say and make them feel that they are being heard and seen.

Life is not always about you but about how you build others up by making them feel valued and respected.

May we become a source of light and hope for others by supporting their ideas even if we think we are better. It is better to lose our pride to keep our spirits alive.