It is not always easy to accept that where we are now is still far from what we imagined we would be five or ten years ago. The thought of it can sometimes stimulate a feeling of being stuck, especially when our life seems stagnant or nothing significant has happened for a long time. 

Recently, I found myself stuck and unproductive due to the slow progress in my work as a professional blogger. I know it’s not the right way to handle this, but sometimes I can’t help but associate my professional life with my overall success and happiness.

To overcome this feeling of being stuck in life, I had to unlearn some limiting beliefs, including my definition of success and attaching my worth with my work, and change how I think about them. It was a disturbing period for me, and I needed to pause from my strict deadlines, realign my purpose, and detach from the ego-based definition of a well-lived life.

I had to pause from writing articles for two weeks to cleanse my intention for Shifting Psyche and remember that it is a sacred mission and not a badge of honor. I’ve learned so much from my brief silence and thought of sharing them here in case you are also going through the same. So, here are my 5 nuggets of advice to overcome the feeling of being stuck in life to help and encourage you.

1. Recognize that life doesn’t always move at a pace you’re used to

Our entire psyche is used to hitting milestone after milestone from the day we are born. We roll over, crawl, walk, and run. At school, we go one level up each year until graduation, as if everything is programmed for us for a specific time. And when we don’t disconnect ourselves from this old programming of constant progression, it could give us an impression that we’re not growing and moving forward. 

As someone who experienced extreme rejection in childhood, I used to tie my worth with my achievements to feel seen and important. I’ve always been passionate and a workaholic because it’s where I found growth and meaning until I became a full-time mother. After five years of not working, I started missing being the career woman that I was and wondered whether I’d be able to reclaim my old life. However, despite my efforts to religiously slip in blogging for almost a year, the website is still far from what I wanted it to be.

Life is never constant and certain. Our attachment to our old ways and how fast we get ahead limits our definition of growth and progress. Acknowledge that life isn’t straight and smooth, and know that there is no need to advance at a pace the world says we should.

Moving forward doesn’t always mean doing or achieving things. It could be as simple as getting through an ordinary day and waking up with strength the next day. You don’t have to be the person you used to be if your current season no longer allows you. Don’t rush yourself if you’re feeling stuck in life now. Instead, honor and respect your present situation, and do not force things that are not yet meant to happen.

2. Remind yourself that feeling stuck does not define who you are

When it feels like nothing is happening in your life, no matter how hard you try, it’s tempting to blame yourself and question your worth. It is natural for human beings to equate feelings with our truths, and if you don’t recognize early on that they’re not, this may lead to unhealthy and self-destructive thoughts. It is the work of the ego — to highlight the imperfections and weaknesses and pull you away from your true self.

Strengthen your sense of self and separate momentary feelings from your truths to overcome fears and insecurities. You can do this by spending time alone with yourself to reflect or by writing positive things about your life in a journal. Thoughts become more powerful when you write them down. It helps to shift negative thoughts into positive ones and create new perspectives and ideas. You don’t have to be good at writing in journaling because it’s not about writing skills but about helping yourself feel better and change destructive thought patterns. [If you need a guide on how to start journaling, this post may help you.]

Remember that your situation is not always proportional to the kind of person you are. You are who you are by the quality of your soul, not the status of your outer life. Feeling stuck in life doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, but rather a projection of trapped fears and inner wounds. It means you need to let go of something that is not serving you anymore.

3. Engage yourself in little things you enjoy inside the small world you’re living in

Do you also feel overwhelmed about how the world is constantly upgrading and getting bigger, and you can’t seem to catch up? I do, especially since my work as a blogger relies mostly on the internet.

One downside of building a career through the internet is that you’ll be in a constant chase on the latest trends and algorithms. Two weeks ago, I got overstimulated by everything I saw online and realized that 90% of it wasn’t helping me accomplish important things. I had to escape from all the noise and pressure of blogging and go back to my small and quiet world to heal inside.

To reset and realign my intentions, I went back to doing ordinary things that I love, like reading and writing fiction, without inspecting my conscience whether it’s contributing to my professional goals. I also spend a lot of time playing with my kids and having late-night chit-chats with my husband. It allowed me to enjoy myself more, release the pressure of keeping up with trends and algorithms, and escape from the feeling of being stuck in life. 

Do not underestimate the power of simple living and not being part of the trend. We feel stuck because we judge our lives as small and too ordinary. Short reels and filtered photos do not always mean there’s something valuable happening in other people’s lives. Remove the self-inflicted pressure to stay up like others, and dive into simple things that really matter to you instead. It is in the simplicity of your own little world and by doing things you love that you’ll find true meaning and growth in life.

4. Keep doing what you need to do and trust that your efforts benefit others no matter how small they are

We often think that success is a result of being able to do big and great actions. While it can be true in some circumstances, it’s the small and obscure consistent work that creates an impact on our lives.

Recognizing and appreciating our efforts is hard when we don’t see change or progress. Even so, make an effort to constantly remind yourself that no matter how small or irrelevant your actions today, they contain energies of change and hope for yourself and others.

All kinds of work and effort are important, no matter how small it is or don’t make money. (Motherhood taught me this golden lesson.) Continue putting yourself out there one step at a time and trust that everything in life will eventually make sense, despite feeling stuck. You don’t have to be at your best all the time, but you’ve got to believe that every work is divine, no matter how small or simple you think they are.

What are the simple things that make you happy and enthusiastic? Do them as often as you can. Doing things you love are the ones that give more meaning and worth in your days, not the big ones that other people showcase.

5. You don’t always have to get ahead of where you are now

One of the most important changes I am consciously striving for in my life now is to live from the space of love and service, not of competition or getting ahead. I am not saying that I manage to do this all the time, but life is so much different now than when I didn’t have this awareness.

Staying where you are now is an opportunity to live in the present while taking small actions towards your goal. Do not set strict standards on the results to avoid creating unnecessary and destructive pressures. Setting a high expectation that is not proportional to your true abilities will only create frustration and negative self-perception. Focus on doing your best and do not criticize your output (and life). When you find peace and satisfaction in your limitations and imperfections, the feeling of being stuck will have no room in your life.

Moving forward and getting ahead are wonderful things, but they are not the main purpose of life. If you’re feeling lost, stuck and have no clear direction in life, you are not alone. We all go through this phase at least once in our lives. You don’t have to be wise or to get somewhere better all the time just to convince yourself and others that you’re having a good life. You only have to fully and deeply engage in the present without thinking about how the universe will reward you. Your only obligation is to offer what you can do to the best of your ability and love.  

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