Rejection is part of life regardless of the color of your skin, the amount of money you have, or the goals you’ve accomplished. It is an inevitable experience that occurs throughout our lives, but the good side of it is that not all rejections hurt and leave scars in our hearts. However, when rejection gets on our nerves and hurts us, we need to do something to overcome it and move forward in life.

In Part 1 of the Dealing With Rejection series, I mentioned that from the day you are born to the day you die, people will always have something negative to say about you. And if you let painful rejections get into you all the time, can you imagine how miserable life could be?

Painful experiences in life happen so we can learn from them and make wiser decisions that may spare us from a miserable life. This principle is also applicable when dealing with rejection. Our past experiences should serve as a manual to guide us on how to overcome rejection that may come along.

A woman thinking about how she can overcome rejection in her life.

When you read Part 2 of the series, you will learn that healing is different from overcoming rejection. Healing from rejection is a process of addressing old inner wounds that shape our personalities and behavior. Its primary focus is to release the past and create a new version of ourselves. On the other hand, overcoming rejection is a mindful way of responding to the offenses done to us to avoid getting deeply hurt and troubled by it.

Here in Part 3, instead of giving tips to overcome rejection, I will share 4 important lessons and 10 positive affirmations that could help you pull yourself together when facing it.

4 Lessons About Rejection to Help You Overcome Them

If we can only see what’s in the minds of the people who reject us, we will realize that they are simply projecting their unique perceptions and individuality on us. In my experiences with rejection, I learned that there are deeper truths and lessons we can take from it. It is not always about being not good enough. Here are the lessons you can use to understand and overcome rejection that you may encounter later on.

1. Rejection is not about you but the person who rejected you.

You cannot control or dictate how others see you. Human beings have unique preferences on everything – food, clothing, colors, interests, beliefs, and people – a reality that we already know but couldn’t always accept. Some people reject us because their preferences do not meet ours, and not because we are flawed or not good enough.

Rejection is other people’s biases and not based on facts. For example, I shared in Part 1 that I felt rejected when my mother told me I was not beautiful and believed it to be a fact. But later on, I learned that my mother’s opinion about my physical appearance was not true for everyone. Some people do not equate beauty to a well-contoured nose, rounded eyes, and silky hair which helped me to unlearn wrong beliefs about myself.

Do not let other people’s perception of you define you. Remind yourself that every person has unique preferences and takes on things. Rejection simply shows that people who reject you are not aligned with you, and that’s okay. What matters is how you see and embrace yourself – your own version of worth, beauty, and uniqueness.

2. Rejection is a form of opinion, not a fact.

In connection to the first point above, another important lesson is: that rejection is a form of opinion, not a fact. A fact, or truth is objective and not based on people’s biases. One example of fact is, that the shape of the Earth is an oblate spheroid. While to say that the world is flat is an opinion because it looks that way from where we stand, we do not believe this viewpoint because we know the Earth’s true shape.

However, if you do not know about this, you will believe that the Earth is flat or may come up with other conclusions that it could be a square or a rectangle. This is exactly what happens when you don’t have a strong established truth about yourself. You will easily believe what you got rejected for – that you are not beautiful or good enough.

Every time you get discouraged because someone rejects or offends you, do this simple pause exercise to anchor in your truth.

  1. Intentionally stop the negative dialogue inside your head for one second. (One-second pause is the easiest way to pause.)
  1. Follow it with two long deep breaths and slowly gather your attention at the center of your forehead.
  1. Recite this simple affirmation in your mind: people’s opinion of me will not change how I see myself.

Doing this will help you overcome rejection by reminding yourself that other people’s words are just opinions and not your truths.

3. Rejection is the universe’s way of redirecting you to the right path.

Rejection is not entirely negative. If you look beyond your ego, you will see that some rejections are meant to give you signs to redirect you from paths that are not right for you.

One example is job application rejection. When I got my license as an engineer, I applied for a junior position in one of the biggest international companies in the Philippines. It was my dream job and I was so eager to get it then. A week later though, I received a rejection letter from their human resource office and sank into a drama that I would never be good enough to work for high-paying companies like them.

But if I look at that experience from where I am today, I realize it was a redirection, not a rejection. If they hired me, I wouldn’t have landed in another company where I met the person who introduced me to my husband.

There is so much more to see in life if you will just open your eyes. You can overcome rejection by treating it as a tool that guides you to your destiny. Painful and offensive experiences do not happen to hurt or make us suffer. They are lessons, signs, and guides we need to fulfill our purpose in life.
Practice asking yourself, “What do I need to learn from this experience?” so you can focus on the good behind every unfavorable situation.

4. Rejection is a motivation to improve yourself.

The best way to overcome rejection is to transmute them into gold. Use rejection to build yourself up instead of destroying your morale. When the person you love doesn’t love you back because you don’t earn enough to support a family, challenge yourself to be better to attract better job opportunities.

In the corporate world, some leaders use rejection as a strategy to motivate their subordinates at work. By rejecting mediocre outputs, they can motivate their employees to perform better. Instead of playing victim when someone rejects you, do not take it personally and focus on improving yourself.

I was able to cope with my mother’s hurtful words when I shifted my focus to studying harder at school. Even though it was a form of masking, it did good to me. It was the universe’s way of teaching me to embrace continuous learning, and I eventually became a perpetual student of life.

10 Positive Affirmations to Overcome Rejection

Here are powerful thoughts that you can play in your mind when facing offensive rejections. These 10 positive affirmations are designed to give you more tools to overcome rejection.

1. Other people’s opinions belong to them, not to me. I know myself more than anybody else.

2. My worth does not depend on how people see me but on how I appreciate myself despite my imperfections.

3. This is not the end of the game. I have today and tomorrow to enrich my life with new learnings and growth.

4. Everyone has unique preferences. If they find me or my skills non-serving, it is their right, and I respect that.

5. Some people project their pains and frustrations by rejecting others. I am aware of this, and I won’t let their issues affect me.

6. People and things meant for me will not reject me. The universe knows what is best for me.

7. There are more opportunities out there. I just need to meet them at the right time.

8. As long as I don’t give up, I win.

9. Rejection is just a redirection. I will eventually find the way.

10. Rejection is part of life. I will overcome it as this too shall pass.   

You can download a printable copy of these 10 positive affirmations to overcome rejection here.   

Final Thoughts

Nobody can escape rejection because it is part of our human nature. Even you have rejected others at one instance whether you intended it or not.

Always remember that you have a choice in how to react and overcome rejection. Focus on enriching yourself with a strong mind and courageous heart to handle whatever comes your way.

This article is the last part of my Dealing With Rejection series. As I’ve mentioned in Part 1, this topic is extra special for me because I was a product of several rejection traumas. Writing them contributes to my healing, and I hope this also serves you the way you need it.

You can read the other parts through the link below.

Part 1: How Rejection In Childhood Harms Our Life As Adults

Part 2: 4 Ways To Help Yourself Heal From Painful Rejection

Part 3: Important Lessons About Rejection & 10 Affirmations To Overcome  Them