2024 Review: Transition Into Adulthood and Brave Decisions

It’s hard to believe how a year passes by that fast, and it gets even faster when we have too much on our plate, just like mine, as I transition into adulthood and embrace everything that comes with it.

Every end-of-the-year season, I used to be hard on myself, thinking I wasted another year simply because I did not accomplish anything huge or significant. I can’t help but think this way sometimes, as a result-oriented person like me celebrates only the big milestones. 2024 is a bit different, though. I began the year intentionally revamping this behavior — and it seems to be working — because for the first time, I didn’t feel the urge to become successful. I am simply happy and grateful knowing that I am moving forward consistently, even in tiny steps.

And I wouldn’t be able to do this without this one word that describes my 2024 – bravery.

The last 12 months of 2024 were a consistent pursuit of brave decisions in my life. And oh, please let me have this proud moment for a while! So for the last blog post this year, I’d like to present the 5 brave decisions I made and the lessons I learned from them.

1. Embrace Difficult Situations Instead of Resisting It

My transition into adulthood showed me an entirely different life scope. In adulthood, when you hit a certain age, the world seems to just throw every possible responsibility and problem on you without a warning.

In our culture, for instance, our parents who used to be responsible for us are now our responsibility. On top of that are endless checklists of adulting stuff you need to keep up with — work, marriage, children, and health to cite a few. Nobody had exactly prepared me for this. I was only told to finish school, get a job, and fulfill my dreams, but nobody informed me that the road to get there was packed with challenges I’d never imagined possible. I was 25 when my father’s health started to get worse and without anyone to help me take care of him, my life turned upside down. Life is not for me anymore but for the people who need me so they can live.

It’s not easy to swallow whatever life throws at you. Our initial response to difficult and painful experiences is to resist or avoid them as much as possible. It took me 10 years to get used to these situations and earn the confidence to deal with them no matter what.

Some of the difficult situations in my life that I used to deny but presently embracing with trust and hope are:

Living and raising my family away from my homeland and without support.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child, but that’s not the case for us. As expatriates in Qatar, starting a family away from people who could support us physically, mentally, and emotionally is very difficult. Playing as a victim of life was my game before and I’d be envious of other young parents who get help and support from their families and friends.

2024 was a special year because after all the difficult years my husband and I went through, I can finally say that I can face anything life would bring us. My mantra now is: ‘There is nothing too hard that I cannot survive as long as I do not give up.’

After I embraced our choice to stay together no matter how exhausting it could be, it freed me from unnecessary burdens and self-pity thoughts. It made our lives lighter and brighter. My relationship with my husband gets better and I am more inspired to love and care for my children.

Having a child with special needs and disabilities

Our daughter has a rare genetic disorder that attacks the structure and function of her brain, causing her to have physical and intellectual disabilities. While my husband and I never really dwell on why the universe gave us a child with such a condition, I still couldn’t help but ask at times, ‘Why my daughter?’

Seeing my daughter now as a five-year-old little girl, all our hospital trips and therapy sessions are all worth it. The life she has is her destiny and it is up to us to see it as a blessing or a burden. I would admit, that I am never happy that my daughter has to suffer from complex disabilities, but I have learned to be grateful for every morning that I wake up by her side and share the unconditional love we have for each other. Through her life, I learned that all life is precious regardless of our abilities or disabilities.

2. Quit Social Media and Let Go of the Old Chapters in My Life

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I didn’t like that much to stay at home. I got so enticed with playing outside and having lots of friends. The streets and other people’s houses were my safe place and I got deeply attached to people who made me feel seen and valued. That’s why every time I have to move forward in life and end an old chapter (say I resign at work), I suffer in an emotional toil.

But thanks to social media – it opened up a new door for me to reconnect with people I’ve met in my past experiences. It gave me hope that not all ending has to really end.

However, the thing about social media is it makes every user addicted to it, and surely, I was one of them. It took me a lot of reflecting and figuring out what’s keeping me from staying focused and disciplined but it only points me to one culprit – my mindless use of social media.

Before I turned 35 last June I felt that my transition into adulthood had become more serious and my priorities became clearer and stronger. My desperation to become a writer and start Shifting Psyche went up and I decided to delete my personal Facebook account to clean up my mind and conserve more time and energy.

I used to fear cutting off communication with relatives and friends but I realized that it’s not the end of the world. I have come to accept that it’s okay not to stay in touch with friends all the time. We are meant to move forward and focus on what’s in front of us. I also learned to trust that people who are meant to stay in my life will stay.

Such a lovely way to take off my transition into adulthood and focus on the few things that can truly give me the quality of life I always want!

3. Go back to Catholicism and Face the Fear of Judgment from Ex-Churchmates

My husband and I had faced a somewhat religious crisis in 2021. We jumped from one born-again church to another because we didn’t feel aligned with their practices and some biblical interpretations.

In the process, we’ve hurt and confused a lot of friends despite our efforts to explain our reasons for leaving. But sometimes, no matter how you try to make others understand you, they just won’t when you cross the edge of their limited beliefs.

We may struggle to see where we really belong, but we never had a crisis of faith. The truth is, that we started to feel disconnected from certain practices because we understood our faith better. After all the confusion, we realized that the weight in our hearts came from suppressing our true calling to go back to the Catholic church. We were denying it at first because of the fear of social judgment and possible abandonment from old churchmates.

One important lesson I learned is to never let what others think of you stop you from making your true choices. After two years of discerning where God was leading us, we got our children baptized in the Catholic church in May 2024. It also marked our official return to Catholicism where my husband and I were originally baptized.

We’ve never been this aligned and free to live the way we know we should. It took us two brave decisions: (1)  to face our fear of judgment and (2) to be true to ourselves and the path meant for us. 

4. Let Go of Friends Who Do Not Align With My Priorities and Values Anymore

Friends are important characters for our personal growth, emotional support, and relational skills. But as we transition into adulthood, we go through tough experiences that shake our old thinking including our values and priorities.

This 2024 homed a lot of internal milestones for me – inner growth and spiritual realizations that I’ve been working on myself since 2008. And it is no secret to me that I changed a lot, especially in choosing well where to place my time and energy. I’ve never been this clear and focused on my profession and personal goals and I felt I don’t have the time and energy to be the ‘always present friend’ to my friends.

I felt guilty in the beginning but I learned to choose myself first despite the consequence of losing old friends. I also learned to not choose the people who did not choose the new me.

As we transition into adulthood, my friends also go through seasons of rediscovering and recreating themselves. I understand and respect their decisions and perhaps, they are just also choosing themselves. After all, the only person who will choose and accept you is yourself.

5. Seriously Work Hard for My Sacred Dream After Giving Birth to 2 Children

When you have a child with special needs and a newborn baby to take care of all by yourself, could you imagine how physically, mentally, and emotionally draining it is?

This was my situation at the beginning of 2024. In spite of that, I knew that this was also the right time to pursue my long-time dream to be a writer. With the fear of getting burned out again, I trusted my instinct and worked hard for my dream.

This is one of the brave decisions I made this year that brings the most fulfillment to me. I was filled with uncertainties and fear of failing in the beginning, but to be able to run the Shifting Psyche blog consistently for the last six months, I realized that nothing is impossible if we set our entire being on our dreams.

The highlight of 2024 is my transition into adulthood and making brave decisions. I know there is still so much more to learn and experience in the next few years and I’ve never been excited. One key lesson I got as an adult is that life is never easy but nothing is too hard if we face it with faith and courage.

Happy New Year, everyone! I have a lot of blogging goals this year and one of them is to create more helpful, inspiring, and quality content and resources for you. I announce new blogs and resources in my newsletter called E-Letters for the Soul, and if you want me to send updates in your email, you can sign up here.